Tuesday, May 25, 2010

12 Down, 4 To Go

And here we stand, Eastern Conference Champs. The Finals. 4 more wins and our beloved Flyers will hoist the most beautiful trophy in all of sports. Its been 35 years since the Stanley Cup belonged to Philadelphia, and now there is a chance it could belong again. All that stands in the way are the kings of the Western Conference, the Chicago Blackhawks.

There is no way that even the most imaginative of Hollywood screenwriters could write a script like this. At one point of the season, the Flyers had accumulated the 2nd fewest points in the entire NHL. Head coach John Stevens was fired, and Peter Laviolette was pulled from the VS. studio to turn this team around. A heartbreaking loss in the Winter Classic, and a late season tailspin gave the fans little hope that their team would even make the postseason. It all would come down to the last game versus the hated Rangers to secure the last spot in the dance. As I watched that game, and as overtime approached, I thought having it come down to a shootout would be the worse thing that could possibly happen. The Flyers were terrible at shootouts, and Ranges goalie Henrik Lundqvist was one of the best shootout goalies. But somehow, the Flyers pulled off the impossible, and qualified for the playoffs.

The 1st round brought the New Jersey Devils and netminding legend Marty Brodeur. Once thought of as Flyer-killers, the Devils were one of the teams the Flyers seemed to own in the regular season, and the playoffs were no different. Philly disposed of the Devils in 5 games, but not without losing key forwards Jeff Carter, Simon Gagne, and Ian Laperierre to injury.

The huge loss of depth probably should've spelled doom for the Flyers in the 2nd round. And after the first 3 games of the series with the Boston Bruins, doom was probably the only word in the minds of dejected Flyers fans. Only two other NHL teams and only three in the history of modern sports had ever come back from being down 3-0 in a best-of-7 series to win. So needless to say, the Flyer faithful had pretty much accepted their fate. But then a glimmer of hope in the form of a returning Simon Gagne as he netted the OT winner in game 4 to keep hope alive. It wasn't over yet. Then, in game 5, a complacent Bruins team returned home, hoping to go through the motions on their home ice to secure a trip to the Conference Finals. Unfortunately for them, the Flyers weren't ready for summer vacation. They absolutely smashed the Bruins, sending the series back to Philly for game 6 and the seed of doubt in the Bruins heads started to bloom. The Wachovia Center crowd was raucous, knowing their home team was not going to let the Bruins end the series on Philadelphia ice. The Flyers won 2-1, setting up the most improbable of game 7's back up in Beantown.

Its a night Philadelphia sports fans will never forget. The score was 3-0 before the Flyers could blink an eye, exactly how the series was at one point. At that point, Coach Laviolette called what will forever be known as the most famous timeout in the history of Flyers hockey. You could read his lips and get the gist of what he was telling his team, "one goal at a time". A few minutes later, and right before the first period had ended, James Van Riemsdyk threw a puck past Tuukka Rask and gave the Flyers the hope they were so desperately looking for. In the 2nd period, Scott Hartnell and Danny Briere, the two players who committed costly penalties that turned in to goals for the Bruins, each scored to tie the game. And then, with 7 minutes to go in the 3rd period, Simon Gagne, broken foot and all, buried a powerplay goal, and that was that. A comeback of historic proportions had been accomplished. Fortunately for the Flyers, they realized that they were only halfway to their ultimate goal. An Eastern Conference Finals matchup with the equally improbable Montreal Canadiens was on deck.

Destiny seemed to be the buzzword floating through the streets of the Delaware Valley by Flyer faithful. After jumping out to a 2-1 series lead against Montreal, Jeff Carter and Ian Laperierre returned to help the team win 3-0 in game 4 and take a 3-1 lead in the series. While most teams get more banged up in the playoffs, the Flyers seem to be getting healthier. And last night, the final nails were hammered in to the Canadiens Cinderella-shaped coffin. The Flyers are in the finals.

This team has already etched their names in Philadelphia folklore. Their next step is to etch their names in Lord Stanley's Cup. No matter the outcome of the finals, the 2009-2010 Philadelphia Flyers will be remembered forever in this town. And if somehow, they can win 4 more games, a story so farfetched can have the happiest of happy endings with a trip down Broad St. for 25 never-say-die warriors and 2 million of their closest friends.

Nothing else to talk about today. Lets Go Flyers

Monday, May 24, 2010

Don't Want To Go Back To Canada

What an up and down weekend in Philly. The Phils had a 3 game series with the BoSox and that annoying nation (can we kick them out?). I went to the game Friday night (which turned out to be the only win of the series for the Phils... thanks for getting sick Erin, hope you are feeling better!). Cole Hamels pitched tremendously after giving up a 1st inning solo shot to Victor Martinez. Jayson Werth hit a Stairs-esque bomb in to the upper deck in right. He's gonna be mad rich yo. The rest of the series didn't go as well. Dice-K took a no-no in to the 8th Saturday and 108 year old Tim Wakefield (if you are wondering, Jamie Moyer is 114) knuckleballed his way through the Phillies lineup to help the Sox snag 2 of 3 from the Phils. Nothing but par for the course when it comes to the Phillies and interleague play. Even Roy Hallagod showed that he is still human... sometimes. I'm pretty sure the sight of Roy getting the hook in the 5th will not be a frequent one. Up to New York for 3 with the Mets, more on that tomorrow. Get Chase Utley Corner ready!

Meanwhile, up in Canadia, the Flyers bounced back in a big way from their debacle in game 3 to completely dominate the Canadiens en route to a 3-0 win in the game and a 3-1 lead in the series. Claude Giroux and Ville Leino continue their coming out parties and Chris Pronger continues to dazzle with his efficient defensive domination and beautiful stretch passing skills. The 2nd period was as much of a complete dismantle of an NHL team as I've ever seen. Outshooting the Habs 13-1 and outscoring them 2-0, Montreal could barely enter the Flyers zone much less test Michael Leighton, who recorded his 3rd shutout of the series (ridiculous). And I haven't even mentioned the fact that Jeff Carter and Ian Laperierre made their improbable returns to the lineup. It is mind boggling that these two are back on the ice. The Flyers have set themselves up perfectly to close out the series in 5 games at the Wachovia Center tonight. The building will be jumping for sure, knowing that the Prince of Wales trophy is in the house and in reach. The Flyers should be able to feed off of the energy of the crowd to make sure that the Canadiens don't have any more comebacks in the tank.

Doug Collins is the new coach of the 76ers. Right now i'm ok with that decision, only because I'm not sure if there was anyone better, which isn't really saying much. I don't know if anyone can say with any certain how he will do at this point. He has said all of the right things so far. I predict he will be the greatest Sixers coach of all time named Doug (too bad Johnny Davis' first name isn't Doug, right Doug Moe? You could've been the best!)

Lost has ended, and it seems every person that watched the series (I've never seen it once) is still unsure as to what happened. Sounds like the title of the show was extremely appropriate. While the series finale was on last night, I watched a documentary on John Wilkes Booth's attempted getaway after killing Lincoln. I surely wasn't "Lost" when that show ended; they found him and shot him. Pretty clear cut. Definitely recommended viewing if you get the chance. The History Channel rules.

11 days away from the greatest home run hitter of our time returns to Philadelphia. Matt Stairs and the Padres are coming in for a 4 game set. Alert local businesses to prepare for falling debris. Stairs-Bombs galore!

Megan (OMWTACMAHG) update tomorrow- working on a few leads.

Old, Obscure Philadelphia Athlete Haiku time!!!:

One jersey in stands
Ilkka Sinisalo flies
Smoothest Finn around

Our first international Stairs-Bomb! Gotta look close for this one. That wall must be made with some fierce material to withstand the Stairs-Bomb power!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Meatloaf Kew What He Was Talking About.

--2 outta 3 ain't bad. The Flyers won 3-0 last night to take a 2 games to none lead over the Montreal Canadiens in the ECF. The Sixers got lucky last night in the NBA lottery and leapfrogged 4 teams to grab the #2 pick in the draft. Unfortunately, the Phillies offense decided to sleepwalk through the game last night and lost to the Pirates 2-1. Lets break it down!

--How good is Michael Leighton right now? 2 Shutouts in a row (how many CGC's is that?)... the last Philadelphia goalie to complete that feat, some guy named Parent (hey doc, great save). Leighton stood tall in net and his post to post movement has been nothing short of stellar. For once, we have the hot goalie! It was obvious last night that the Canadiens were completely frustrated that they couldn't solve Leighton. Alot of credit should go to chris Pronger and the defense as well. They did a great job of allowing Leighton to see the shot, and then getting the rebound out of harms way. The 2nd chances opportunities were extremely limited for Montreal.
Meanwhile, at the other end of the ice, Jaroslav Halak and the Habs defense looked extremely mortal compared to how they looked in the previous two series. The Flyers powerplay has been almost overwhelming in the first two games and I can't praise the play of guys like Danny Briere, Simon Gagne, and Ville Leino (all of whom scored last night. They'll need to continue their great play as the scene shifts to Bell Centre for games 3 and 4. I have a feeling the Flyers are going to see a completely different team once they get in to enemy territory.

--The 76ers won the lottery! We sort of... Getting the #2 pick in this years draft might be as good as the #1 pick. I am going to assume the Wizards will select John Wall with the top pick, so that leaves OSU star Evan Turner waiting in the Sixers lap. I think this is a no brainer pick, he brings so much versatility to the Sixers, and maybe he will be the catalyst for pushing underachiever Andre Iguodala out the door. But knowing Ed Stefanski and the Sixers, anythings possible.

--For those of you who took my advice and bet your life savings on the Phillies last night, what were you thinking? Sporting events are so difficult to predict, especially baseball games. I don't know why anyone would risk all they had on a sporting event. Sucks to be you! If you are looking for somewhere to stay now that you're house is gone, I hear this guy is looking for people to help him repaint his home:

I have found out on good authority that this guy is single. He even gets shut out in his own home, just like the Canadiens themselves! blahahahaha

--Dear ESPN, even though all you talk about is Lebron James and the NBA Playoffs, can you find it in your hearts to take back the NHL? Versus might be the worst station in the history of television (a celebration just began at CW Philly... congrats guys! you are out of the cellar!!!)

--Haiku time!

Red zone gave them woes
Roger Ruzek took the field
3 points on the board

--Day 7 of OMWTACMAHG. 1 week in! So much work to do. As a hitting guru, Charlie's probably steaming about last night's absence of offense. I don't think anybody should bother him today. We'll try again tomorrow. Somebody go to the store and get him some of these... guaranteed to cheer him up!

--A big fat Stairs-Bomb to Sidney Crosby and all of the Pittsburgh Penguins tearin' up the links this week!

Taser - 2
Fans - 0

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

So Much Potential For Awesomeness Tonight.

--Now that Jimmy Rollins is back in the lineup (Welcome back Young James!), Uncle Cholly has to decide where to put him in the lineup. I know its not much of a decision knowing Charlie Manuel. He is more than likely going back to the leadoff spot. I'd love to see Rollins go to the 6 hole and keep Shane Victorino leading off. Shane has done a really nice job since Rollins' injury and it would be really interesting to see if Rollins could thrive in more of a RBI role. But who am I kidding, Charlie's huge on loyalty (how long did he keep Brad Lidge in the closer's role last year, even though he was painfully bad?)... he's definitely not going to move Jimmy unless Jimmy is 100% ok with it. More Phillies in approximately 20 seconds, or however fast you read.

--Kind of a big Flyers game tonight. A win tonight and the Flyers will come back to the Wachovia Center for game 5 (as of right now is still if neccessary) at worst tied 2-2 in the series. The Flyers do not want to give the Habs any sense of hope heading back to Montreal for games 3 and 4. Those crazy French Canadiens are gonna be worked up enough as it is, lets not give them any more reasons to start a riot.

--If there was ever a time to bet your life savings on a sporting event, it's tonight's Phillies game against the Pirates. That Roy guy is pitching tonight at home against one of the worst teams in baseball. Aaaaaaaaannnnnnddddd to pile on that, its Roy Halladay bobblehead night. How can the Phillies possibly lose? Zach Duke starts for the Buccos, but I think the Pirates might have a better chance if they put one of those bobbleheads out on the mound.

--Babe Ruth from all accounts sounded like the coolest dude ever. I would've loved to been alive to go to the bar with him. His larger than life stories that I've heard throughout the years sound legen... wait for it... dary! Makes me wish I was alive back then to see the Bambino in real life. I read this tidbit about the Babe and it has to be shared:
May 1922 – After being ejected from a game at The Polo Grounds for throwing dirt in the eyes of the umpire, Babe Ruth chased a heckler through the stands. When the fan ran out of reach, Ruth returned to the dugout roof and challenged any fan in attendance to fight him. Ruth was suspended for seven games and fined $200 for the incident.
Sports sounded way better back then. I wonder what Ruth would've done to the South Jersey loser that threw up near the police officer and the little girl at the Phils game a few weeks back.

--When its raining outside, why do people drive like the road is covered with ice? I was stuck in traffic this morning and I swear a Zamboni passed me on the shoulder. At first glance, I thought "that is so cool, who owns a Zamboni?". Then I realized, "oh yeah, Zamboni's are built for driving on ice, no wonder he's going faster, everyone else thinks its ice". Its just rain people! 20 mph is not neccessary!

--I was in the bathroom this morning at work, and these two guys come walking in having a conversation. So I just figure that when you walk in to the bathroom the conversation stops. Boy was I wrong. To my anger and dismay, they just keep on talking. I just assumed that when a man enters a bathroom, they know that any and all conversations cease, you take care of business, and then you can continue talking outside. Are you kidding me? If there was ever a reason to tase someone, that was it. And what guys go to the bathroom together? Double tase!

--Day 6 of Operation: Megan Wants To Adopt Charlie Manuel As Her Grandpop. I think someone should call in next week to the Charlie Manuel Show on WIP and tell Charlie he has a young lady(kind of...j/k Meg!) who wants to be his adopted grandaughter. I would do it but I have work. Somebody get this done and I'll hook them up with some MSMC gear (as soon as we get MSMC gear), and maybe you'll ever score a hug and a smooch from Megan herself!

--Double Haiku! I forgot yesterday. Thanks to Man Crusher Bill for pointing it out:

Utility king
31 Kevin Sefcik
Plays only in 8th


Ironic lines next
Karl Dykhuis is a dude
But guys can't come in

--Another celebrity Stairs-Bomb! Today's victim is former NBA coach Jeff Van Gundy!

Don't believe it's him? Look at the obvious evidence, amazingly shallow hairline...well thats about it. All the evidence you need right? His too thin to be Mean Gene Okerlund so it has to be Van Gundy!

--Go Flyers and Phillies tonight! (especially for all of you putting your life savings on the Phils game!)

Taser - 2
Fans - 0

Monday, May 17, 2010

le jeu magnifique l'un. (trusting free internet English to French translation websites)

--I think it was good for all of us (I guess more so for guys like Chris Pronger and Kimmo Timonen) that the Flyers rolled last night in game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals. What a completely dominating performance. 6 different players scored, the defense stifled the Habs and Michael Leighton was in perfect position all night. What a relaxing game to watch! It also helped to watch knowing the Flyers weren't facing elimination. 1-0 in the series, lets keep that momentum going!

--I couldn't blog about game 7 of the Bruins series because I still don't believe it happened! Seriously it was one of the most amazing games I've ever watched. The only thing that made this history winning game and series better was that on the opposite end of the comeback, was the collapse of Boston. Couldn't have happened to a nicer group of people. Hopefully now Red Sox fans will shut up about 2004, even if it was at the expense of the Yankees.

--Phillies knocked the poop out of the ball in Milwaukee and swept their sorry butts. Take that fat vegetarian!(<-Prince Fielder) Milwaukee doesn't even count as a real city. The Phils come back home for 2 against the Buccos, 2 against the Cubbies, and 3 against those .500 Red Sox. --For all of you heading to Citizens Bank Park this weekend for the Red Sox series, take some time out of your week and read some literature on the Heimlich maneuver so you can help save some of those Boston fans coming down! Don't worry, I'll remind you later in the week.

--The touch football team and the weekend softball team are both still undefeated! We're so good. Winning totally rules. Know what I mean guys?:

--Not only did the Flyers put in a 5 CGC performance last night in game 1, the crowd came up so large earning 5 delicious CGC's in their 20 thousand strong effort. The highlight came when the crowd started the "Ole Ole" chant made famous by the Canadiens' fans up in Montreal. Great work us, we are more clever than any other fans. Suck on that Canucks!

--Day 5 of OMWTACMAHG(if you don't know, you can't afford it). Charlie's back in Philadelphia. I swear. If you see him, ask him about being Megan's Grandpop, and about Cheesy Gordita Crunches! He seems to like to offer them to favorite players:

How exciting must that moment have been for my hero and yours. Geoff Jenkins and Pat the Bat were damn excited, look at the looks on their faces!

--Remember for all of you spelling enthusiasts:

Taser - 2
Fans - 0

Friday, May 14, 2010

Almost forgot the Haiku!

Thanks for reminding me no one:

Sheriff guarded bench
Sit Rodney Buford Style
Eastern champ was he

Taser - 2
Fans - 0

Game 7gasm and a Birthday Party!

--I'm an extremely jaded Flyers fan, so I fully expect the good guys to lose tonight. And not just a regular "hey we got beat" loss, I'm talking a "Mark Recchi just jammed in the game winner with 3 minutes to go while simultaniously climbing 4 phone books to punch me directly in the junk" loss. Just please don't take it to overtime, my heart can not tolerate that kind of stress. Please win Flyers. Pretty please with CGC's on top...

--I'm so sick of hearing about the Phillies stealing signs. If the Phillies can decipher signs from the bullpen, call to the dugout, and get the info to the batter all from the time the sign is given to the pitcher to the moment the pitcher delivers the ball, the entire Phillies organization should be working for the freakin CIA. And if the other team doesn't change their sign pattern throughout the game, they might as well just tell the other team what they are doing. What sign was stolen from Johan Santana when he walked Jamie Moyer? I guess my opinion will be skewed a bit since I am a Phillies fan, but I'll hold off on judgement unless someone comes up with some undeniable proof that the Phillies are going the extra extra mile to steal signs. I believe every team is trying to steal signs, its called gamesmanship.

--In better news, its Harry Leroy Halladay III's birthday today!!! I have an idea for Christmas 2.0! ... May 14th. If someone could show me how to fit a complete game shutout in to a stocking i'm all ears!

--How does Roy celebrate his birthday? I'm glad you asked... powder blue uni's and birthday hats! duh...

--Mexican restaurant karaoke is much better than regular karaoke. Fact. Next time I should ask if someone can make me a Cheesy Gordita Crunch.

--Merry Friday everyone! MSMC is up to 12 followers! Guess who's number that is? I'll give you 2 guesses...

--Day 2 of Operation: Megan Wants to Adopt Charlie Manuel as Her Grandpop (OMWTACMAHG for short). Still no communication with Charlie. He was last seen in Milwaukee eating some Nutrisystem food. (1800-321-THIN to Charlie-size yourself!) Somebody find him and let him know Megan is looking for him!

--Celebrity Stairs-Bomb! Ryne Sandberg gets it gooooood! (may or may not have actually been Ryne Sandberg, but for the sake of an awesomesauce story, its him!)

Taser - 2
Fans - 0

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Comeback for the Ages and Viewer Mail!!!

--For the 6th time in NHL history, a team that has comeback from a 3-0 deficit to tie a playoff series and force a game 7. The Flyers defended their home ice last night by winning 2-1 and are heading up to ridiculously pretentious Boston, Mass to try and complete this unpredictable comeback. If any town realizes that no lead is safe in a 7 game series, its Boston (2004 Sox anyone?). You can bet there are some tight sphincters in Beantown today (but lets be honest, not much more than usual).

--I for one couldn't tell that last night was Michael Leighton's first ever playoff start, much less his 2nd appearance in uniform since his 2 month injury lay off. He showed great composure and timing for someone who has been basically thrown to the wolves, or bears if you will.

--Having to wait until tomorrow night for this game just makes the anxiety that much worse. The anticipation will have this city buzzing until and hopefully long after the 7pm puck drop tomorrow. Regardless of the outcome, the entire NHL playoffs thus far have been incredible. And we're only half way home! And then a week after that, training camp starts for next year (not entirely true, just seems that way.

--It really was an awful shame that our good friends on the opposite end of the turnpike got completely run out of their own building in the last game that will ever be played at the Igloo. The Penguins got completely smashed at home by the improbable world beating Canadiens to send the 8 seed to the Eastern Conference Finals. Even Matt Stairs enjoyed it:

--The Phillies, luckily surving the day after tomorrow 2.0, dropped a Roy Halladay start to the Rockies 4-3 in 10 innings yesterday afternoon. Doc felt he needed to have a rough outing so the rest of the league will stop thinking the Phillies are cheating. What a team player that Roy guy is! He's an American (and Canadian) Hero!

--Remember when the Canadiens EMBARRASSED the Pens last night? That ruled.

--Obscure, old school, Philadelphia athlete Haiku time:

93 team owned
Ben Rivera was so tall
No mullet for him

--My friend Megan wants to start a campaign to adopt Charlie Manuel as her Grandpop. I think Charlie would prefer to be an uncle, but I think we should try to grant her wish anyways. After all, I am trying to eat a Cheesy Gordita Crunch with Matt Stairs. And all dreams should come true! So if anyone knows Charlie personally, have him contact me, and then we will drink many beers together and call Megan with the good news!

--Thank you to Ross Kasper, loyal Man Crusher (we'll work on the name) for sending this in: (thank you to the Philadelphia Daily News for doing the reporting)

News flash: If Taser fails, try beanbags
Philadelphia Daily News

farrs@phillynews.com 215-854-4225

Four shocks from Tasers couldn't keep a flasher with a fanny pack down on Monday, so Delaware County police used their next best weapon in nonlethal force - beanbag bullets, according to court documents.

The trouble started when Daniel Reed, 48, allegedly flashed his female mail carrier and his neighbor at the Hilltop Condominiums, on Hilltop Drive in Brookhaven, shortly before 11 a.m., prompting a call to police.

When Officer George Pappas arrived on scene, Reed approached him in the parking lot and at one point pulled down his pants, exposing his penis, and told Pappas to "go d--k yourself," the affidavit said.

After Reed zipped up, he unzipped a fanny pack that was around his waist and pulled out a three-inch knife, telling Pappas "I got something for you," police said.

Pappas then shot Reed in the chest with his Taser but Reed "felt no effects," according to the affidavit.

Reed then pulled the Taser probes out and allegedly taunted Pappas with the knife. When a backup officer arrived, he also shot Reed with his Taser, but it still didn't seem to faze him.

Both officers then shot Reed again with their Tasers and it was only after the fourth probe struck him that he fell, court records said.

Still conscious, Reed then used his knife to cut himself free from all of the Taser wires, the affidavit said.

As he was getting up, Reed waved the knife and threatened to cut the cops' eyes out and walked to his apartment, court documents said.

He stood at the screen door of his apartment and told the cops he had lots of knives and a pistol inside, according to the affidavit.

Police from numerous Delaware County departments arrived and after a struggle to open the door, they subdued Reed by shooting him with beanbag rounds and arrested him.

He was taken to Crozer-Chester Medical Center for a psychological evaluation and was arraigned yesterday on a slew of charges that included aggravated assault and open lewdness.

--There are so many parts of this I find funny, many have to do with the fact that he was rockin a fanny pack. It must have been tough to hold up the fanny pack when pulling out the goods. And if you are gonna be flashing people, why keep a knife that close to your junk?

The affidavit said that Reed told Officer Pappas to "go d--k yourself"... what is that middle word? Dunk? Dork? Dink? Need to work on those one-liners skills in the joint brah!

Unforutnately since this didn't happen at a sporting event, I can't add this to the scoreboard (even though this will probably be the only time the fan would defeat the taser). But it is an enjoyable read. Sadly, the scoreboard reads:

Taser - 2
Fans - 0

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Not sunshine sprinkles with a chance of lollipops

--Who was the Busch drinking (i know, i know) idiot that decided not to build a roof over Coors Field? How are we supposed to spread the complete game shutout joy to cities that are better suited to host the Winter Olympics than a MLB game? MLB should make a rule: If your city has ever had snow in the month of May more than twice in its history, DOME (at least a retractable one). I want to see Roy every 5th day, not every 5th day unless there's snow, got it? Now they've scheduled a doubleheader for today, but guess whats in the forecast? I'll give you hint, its not sunshine sprinkles with a chance of lollipops...

--In other scheduling news, the Phillies get to play three more games at Citizens Bank Park due to the G20, B11, O64 Summit being held in Toronto the same weekend that Roy was supposed to make his return to Canadia. All 26 Blue Jays fans are a little bit miffed and I don't blame them. Does anyone else think Capt Selig and the other baseball big wigs could've figured out a better solution sooner? But I'll take three more games at the Bank, even if the Phils will be the away team and the DH will be utilized. This means (potentially, maybe likely) Brad Lidge or any other Phillies reliever could in fact (potentially, maybe likely) give up a walkoff homerun in his own ballpark. The thought of that makes me shudder.

--Apparently, Mets frenchy outfielder Jeff Franceour is a bit upset that the Fightins get three extra home field games. Don't be upset Jeff, if the Mets had three extra home games at Citi Field it would just be 3 more games no one would go to. If the Mets fans had any brains and/or a sense of humor, they would buy as many tickets to the Blue Jays/Phillies series and cheer the crap out of the Jays. That would actually be funny and clever on their part. I don't see it happening though. Maybe Franceour should worry less about where the Phillies play their games and more about not hitting in to unassisted triple plays. Eric Bruntlett agrees:

--Its time for the Flyers to channel their inner JJ Daigneault and bring the house down tonight on those punktastic Bruins in game 6. Scoring the 1st goal of the game will never be more important than tonight's game. Flyers score first and that seed of doubt in the Bruin's heads will turn in to James' Giant Peach. Bruins score first and the doubt could disappear and become nothing but reassurance to the Bruins that history can be avoided. I expect the Wachovia Center to be pure insanity tonight. The fans have to let the visitors know that the Flyers are gonna ship it up to Boston for Game 7 friday night to swallow souls Evil Dead Style.

--I sure did miss Roy last night. Colorado sucks.

--Go Canadiens tonight! Go anybody against Pittsburgh! They have the douchiest fans ever.

--The Phillies were warned by MLB for stealing signs in the Rockies game Monday night. I think to prove a point, Roy Halladay should yell out each pitch against the Rockies before he throws it. That would be interesting. Unrealistic, but interesting.

--New tradition! Daily Haiku featuring an old school, obscure Philly athlete. enjoy daily friends:

Kent Manderville ruled
Eat Cheesy Gordita Crunch
And then score mad goals

--The Sidelsky's get Stairs-Bombed!
*if anyone knows the Sidelsky's, have them email me and let me know they are ok.

Taser- 2
Fans - 0

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

5/10/10 was pretty good for a Monday.

--Big ups to the Bruins last night for not showing up on your home ice for a kinda important playoff game. The Flyers completely dominated in every facet of the game and even though Boucher went down, Michael Leighton luckily was sitting on the bench for the first time in 2 months, ready to finish the job. You have to feel bad for Boosh, who played his heart out for this team in the stretch run and so far in the playoffs. And unless he has cyborg legs quickly put in to replace his mangled human ones, I don't think we'll see Boosh back between the pipes this year.

So many guys came up huge for the good guys last night. Simon Gagne popped in two big goals to prove to everyone that he's back to as close to 100% as a guy coming back from a broken foot can get. His presence alone has solidified the forward lines that were in shambles the first 3 games of the series. Ville Leino played an unbelievable game last night as well. He was all over the ice and absolutely deserved every extra second Coach Lavvy gave him.

And that brings us to my 2010 Orange and Black arch nemesis: Scott Hartnell. I've dogged him all season, and quite frankly, he deserved it. Hell, we even played a drinking game during Flyers games... drink every time Hartnell falls (i know what you're thinking, "man those guys must've been drunk 24/7 playing that game." its true!) But he has stepped it up big time the last two games and proved he does still have a little Hartnell 09 in him. I don't know where he's been all year, but he must've been hanging out with Carmen Sandiego and finally those little gumshoes found him! He's moving up the CGC ladder!

--Dear Flyers, please don't suck it up on your home ice tomorrow. The Wachovia Center crowd should be berzerk, and you guys need to come out guns blazing and keep that sense of doubt in those yellows bastard's heads. Lets get to game 7 and try and make a little history!
Thanks, concerned Flyers Fan.

--Back on the Comcast Network (it took me a little time to find it too) the Phils started a mini road trip in Colorado, where it was a balmy 60 degrees... what no snow? Check the forecast shankapotomous.

Phils win! Phils win! Chooch continues his lumber tear. 4-5 with a Chooch bomb! Get him in the all-star game!

--Insert Tiger Woods joke here. I don't care they all are still funny. Go Phil!

--The end of the tv show "Lost" is quickly approaching. I've never watched a second of it, but I do have an idea for a spinoff, it'll be called "More Lost". The premise of the show will be me not watching the show "Lost". I think it might be as popular as the show "After Mash", but probably not as popular as the soon to be new show, "After Lopez Tonight" aka "The Conan O'Brien Show". Congrats TBS! I had no reason to watch TBS except whenever they showed the movie Con Air (which is almost every weekend), but now I have a reason to tune in!

-- A white male with a bigger ass than mine gets Stairs-Bombed!!!

Taser - 2
Fans - 0

Monday, May 10, 2010

Weekend Update, Monday Style.

--No weekend blogs this week, I was living in my own personal hell and I didn't want to spew negative on a mostly postive weekend (You know what I'm saying Magic!). I broke my cell phone saturday morning, so all weekend it felt like I was living in a 1995 bubble in a 2010 world. In my bubble, Hakeem Olajuwon was ruling the paint and Coolio was still livin in a gangsta's paradise.

--A lot of solid events happened since we last hung out here at MSMC. Older than the mound itself, Jamie Moyer pitched a 2 hit shut out. I can't say that Jamie's gonna turn it around and pitch like that the rest of the year, but it was definately a 5 CGC performance.

--The Phils snatched 2 out of 3 from the Braves, ending a very successful home stand. Hey that Jayson Werth guy is pretty good. That dude's gonna get paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiidddddd.

--Mark Recchi tried his hardest to ruin my Friday night. Thank goodness Simon Gagne saved the day, for now. Tonight could be the end of the season for the Flyers in scumbag Beantown. I can't even begin to imagine a Boston vs. Pittsburgh eastern conference finals... every night there would be a hockey building full of bags of Summer's Eve. Go Western Conference! I might be getting ahead of myself, the Flyers and Canadiens haven't lost yet... but its not looking good.

-- I had a dream I was at a Flyers game with Matt Stairs eating a Cheesy Gordita Crunch... not the same one, we each had our own. Ugh if only...

--Tiger withdrew in the final round of The Players Championship Sunday complaining of neck pain. Had aaaaabbbbbsolutely nothing to do with the fact that he was playing horribly. No not at all... I think that poor guy just needs to get him some!

--Great news! A drunken fan had to be tasered at the Players Championship in Florida. What? You didn't hear about it? I wonder why... thank god the fan or the event wasn't from a city that rhymes with Schmiladelphia or Wolf Blitzer would've been tucked in the corner of a nearby motel 6 with a bullet-proof suit broadcasting live. So you know what that means!!!! Scoreboard update!!!

Taser - 2
Fans - 0

Friday, May 7, 2010

5 CGC Update

When I rate something or someone, instead of using stars or thumbs ups, I use the greatest fast food in history, the Cheesy Gordita Crunch (CGC). for example:

Roy Halladay -

Kevin Kolb -

Scott Hartnell -

And Hartnell i'm being generous, I just don't see why any Philly athlete should be completely denied a delicious CGC.

There's only one person that will never appear on the CGC rating system. His name is obviously Matt Stairs. There are not enough scrumdiddlyumptious Cheesey Gordita Crunches in the world for him.

Taser - 1
Fans - 0


--I'll be honest, when Roy Halladay takes the mound for the Phils, I just expect the other team to have no chance. Kinda like when I used to watch Saturday morning WWF and saw The Ultimate Warrior face some no-name chump. And even when the Phils are playing a top quality team like St. Louis, Roy just takes care of business. He didn't even have his best stuff yesterday (yes 1 earned run isn't his best stuff). I love watching this team play baseball, but I get triple excited on a night that Doc takes the mound. 7 starts in, and each of his starts is an absolute event, a Halladay if you will. Kind of like when Matt Stairs used to come to the plate!

--Speaking of great pitchers, The Phils greatest right handed pitcher Robin Roberts passed away yesterday. I never saw him pitch, but i've seen his stats and they are unreal. His legacy will live on forever in the city, and he will be sorely missed.

--Company softball team finally got its first ever win yesterday! 18-13 a real defensive minded pitchers duel. Boy our defense is brutal. Thank goodness the other team was worse. Sorry Mr. Stairs, no home runs, but I did swing as hard as I could.

--A couple of people from my other softball team were discussing yesterday what it must feel like to be tased. And what would happen if we brought a taser to our games. Any dropped fly balls... tased. Bad base running... tased. Terrible jokes...you get the point. I really just want to tase somebody one day. I have a plan to get through my whole life without firing a real gun. But a taser? Sign me up!

--Hey lady! Forever 21 is just the name of a store... you are still 47.

--I have a ton of hatred for the city of Boston and the Boston Bruins. But their marketing dept. is top notch. If you get a chance, go on youtube and watch the commercials with the bear. Its friggin genius...

A Heavenly Stairs-Bomb!

Taser - 1
fans - 0

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Stinko de Fly-o and Every 5th day is upon us

-Well the Flyers lost again last night to the Bruins. I stole that headline from a friends FB status... but I'm not sure she's clever enough to make it up herself so she gets no credit. *update*- I know she's not clever enough to come up with that herself.

The bounces just weren't going the Flyers way. They played a very strong 1st and 2nd period, but seemed to be resigned to their fate in the 3rd. I guess the injuries and therefore lack of depth is going to spell the Flyers demise. Looking for depth you say? I know who might be able to help:

Did mention I can't stand watching Scott Hartnell play? I didn't? Well then, I hate watching Scott Hartnell play. More so I hate watching Scott Hartnell skate. Its embarassing. I wish someone could come up with a split-screen of Hartnell skating and a newborn deer walking, because the similarities are uncanny. Why couldn't he be the one with a broken foot? That way Carter or Gagne could play, and a broken foot may improve Hartnell's skating.

-Enough with the negatives, Kyle Kendrick tried to do his best Roy Halladay impression last night. It was on a little smaller scale, but KK was agressive with hitters and pitched a great game last night. Baez and Contreras came in and shockingly didn't allow the Cards to get back in to it. I've been very impressed with Jose Contreras so far this season. He's been a really nice pickup for Rube Jr. and the NL champs. If Brad Lidge can keep up what he's been doing the last few outings (that slider looks nasty right now, keep it up BL!), the bullpen just may come around. Can't look much worse than it has been early on in the season.

Last night was definitely the most important game of the series. The Phils got the win, and some guy named Roy takes the pill for the 4th game of the series. I've gotta say, I like our chances. Not saying this will be an automatic win, but you know what i'm getting at. Its freakin Roy Halladay!

-Company softball game today, i'm a pitching machine! 0 and 14 last year, 0 and 1 so far this year. If we win today, we can avoid being the 2008 Detroit Lions of slow pitch softball. Fingers are crossed, but not making any guarantees.

-Happy Seis de Mayo everyone! Cheesy Gordita Crunches for all!

-PS... if you are keeping score in this post Tasering-Fans World, the score still remains:

Taser - 1
Fans - 0

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Stairs Bomb!

Stairs Bomb (noun)[ sters bom ]

1. A homerun in a baseball game hit by Matt Stairs

2. Having the back of a Matt Stairs jersey displayed in a photo unbeknown to others in the photo. example -
The preseason red Phanatic gets Stairs Bombed!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Let the man crush begin

I'm a Philadelphia sports fan. I don't get drunk and get in to fights at the stadiums. I have never thrown up on a little girl at a Phillies game. And I've never thrown a snowball at Santa. Shockingly, not all of us are like that, contrary to lazy national reports. I do get mad at my teams, and I do take it personally when they lose. But I love them more than anyone not from this area will ever understand. I wouldn't think about cheering for any other sports franchise besides the Flyers, Phillies, Sixers, and Eagles.

When trying to come up with an on-going theme for my blog, one Philadelphia folk hero kept coming to mind... Matt Stairs. Many athletes have come through his town, but very few are remembered for one single amazing moment the way Matt Stairs will be remembered forever. His titanic moonshot in game 4 on the 2008 NLCS has reached epic proportions. If I could afford it, I would purchase an extra TV and have that at-bat on a continuous loop 24/7 in my home. He has one objective every time he's ever been up to the plate, and that is to hit he ball as far as humanly possible. And to me, that i pretty effin cool.

My blog won't just be about my bro-love for Matt Stairs, I'll talk about pretty much anything that pops in to my crazy brain...but rest assured that Matt Stairs will make many, many appearances. Hopefully someday Mr. Stairs himself will read this and not be completely freaked out.

I'll discuss on-goings in the world, music, entertainment, and national sports too. But mostly strange occurences in my life, Philadelphia sports and Matt Stairs. Oh yeah, I forgot... I play on a coed football and softball team so if I chirp about that, just go along with it. But you will soon realize that almost everything i talk about will have a very sarcastic vibe to it. I don't do serious very well.

I want to thank my parents for having me, and for having me grow up in the Philadelphia area, and for making sure I grew up and stayed a fan of all the Philadelphia teams. I couldn't imagine rooting for anyone else.